no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
