K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
