He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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