She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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