i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How external is "for external use only"?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
