Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
