NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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