yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
