And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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