He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
These tits shall not be calmed
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
