I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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