wakey wakey hands off snakey
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
