Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
