pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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