Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
