He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
