turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
