Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So many bounce houses so little time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
