nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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