It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
