Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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