I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
