well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize