Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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