Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
