You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
