your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize