idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
