I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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