What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
