HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
