Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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