I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
