i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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