Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
