You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just forgot I was standing up.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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