wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That accounts for only three of the penises
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
