At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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