how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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