Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize