Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
