So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
