A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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