The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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