High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
