Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
