I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
