I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
