In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
