the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
