There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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