You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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