You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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