A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
