Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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