When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
