shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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