help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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