i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
