Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
