We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My liver just broke up with me...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
