Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
